English. How hard can it be?

Whirly-gig, thing-a-me-bob, wee-dodad, whosy-whatsit, thingy, doohickey, jigit, widget, gizmo, whosiwhacky,thingamajig, doodad, thingummy, gizmotchie, whatsit, do-whicky, do-wacky,
do-lolly, dohatchie, gizwidget, dooflautchee, doovalacky, whatchamathingie, loomaflachchee, grapplegrommet, mobywixit, whatchamacallit, wotsit, and my favourite, wing wong for a goose's bridle.

I love these words! There should be more like them! And these are just words for things... There are others too you know...

For numbers, we have:

squillion, bajillion, buhmillion, frillion, gazillion, jillion, kajillion, schmillion, zillion eleventy-first, mumblety, umpteen, oodles, scads, buckets.

For names we use:

Tom, Dick and Harry, So-and-so, Buddy, Whasisname, Joe Bloggs, Fred Bloggs (cousin of Joe :), Joe Blow, Joe Schmoe (Not quite as rich as Joe Blow), The Joneses, Mrs Kafoops, Lord & Lady Muck, and if you're an Aussie there's the all encompassing Mate!

Or when giving directions:

Out the back o' Burke, somewhere near the black stump, beyond woop woop, just to the left of Timbucktoo. (These are all common Aussie directions)

To places such as:

Auchterturra, Sainte-Clotilde-de-Rubber-Boot, Waikikamukau (pronounced ‘Why kick a moo-cow’), or Joe's Diner,

And who says English is difficult? Let's just look for a moment at our wonderful language:

There's the pronunciation:

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
We got into a row about how to row a boat.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The wind was too strong to wind up the sail.
The accountant at the music store records records of the records.

And then there's the paradoxes:

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French-fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand is slow and so is rush-hour (which often lasts a lot longer than an hour).
Boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

Why do writers write, but fingers don't fing?
Grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

You can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
We have noses that run and feet that smell?

And sometimes the same words have opposite meanings:

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? Have you ever noticed that overlook and oversee are opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? Recently, the weather can be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

We often talk about things only when they are absent?
Have you ever seen a horsefull carriage or a strapfull gown?
Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
Have you ever run into someone who was gruntled or ruly?

And people wonder why my job can be difficult at times. Lucky I have all the time in the world to sort through this mess!

(much of this comes from the website: English is difficult! check it out...)